What is it like to be in a coma? You are present in body and some say in mind as well. Physically, without the ability to help yourself, you are none existent.
Are You Still With Us?
The opening sentiments of this piece relate to Everton Football Club over the past twenty years. The term ‘sleeping giant’ gets thrown around too much and it doesn’t explain our situation enough.
So unfortunately we are in a coma. We exist, we have an understanding of what’s going on around us yet we can’t do a thing about it. Over the years there have been glimpses of slight revivals, leaving the people who care to get their hopes up only to be pulled back to despair.
When the coma began we were overseen by ‘The Hamper Man.’ It is widely documented he allowed Everton to slip in to the coma without any remorse and lack of foresight. He eventually gave up his position and crossed back over the river.
Then he came, the ‘caring impresario.’ Sent to bring forward the resurrection. Great, we all felt like a burden had been lifted and something was being done. However, in those formative years he felt that selling prized assets would help structure a smoothly run operation. This was a systematic approach he tried to initiate every year.
A young man was brought in during the February of 2002. He had some radical ideas and a stern manner in which to approach them.
His appointment brought some much needed respite and the answer to the solution looked within reach. Soon after his first year there was a minor complication.
Through late 2003 and into 2004 the early signs of hope under Dr Moyes had diminished and the latest prized asset was sold off to fund another reconstruction of ideas. Many thought that without the necessary tools our ‘beloved’ would finally slip out of existence.
What was to unfold was one of the greatest battles of self preservation the likes of which hadn’t been seen since the reform of ’92.
The fight was on and nothing was strong enough to stand in the way from finally being revived. Over the summer months of 2005 a party was planned as we had been told that the once mighty and proud Everton could potentially wake up some time during August.
All was going well and the preparations had been made. The parties were split over two venues and two dates to accommodate all attendants. The first night went more or less to plan but the second was short lived.
An anonymous call had been made and the law were sent to shut down the ‘noisy neighbours’ at the behest of the European authorities. The mood sank and it would be a further two years before any hope was able to settle back into our mindsets.
This time with the help of an experienced Nigerian and trips to various European countries we found many reasons to be cheerful and Dr Moyes was able to inspire us once again.
We were headed in the right direction, we were almost there. And then it happened.
The ‘Wembley Procedure’ was difficult and would require two attempts for the desired effect to take place. The first took longer than planned but I was happy to have been present with my loved ones that day.
All that stood in our way were the tricky manoeuvres of the second attempt a few weeks later.
Within 24 seconds a French physician known for his own medical problems injected a shot of adrenaline. Everton woke up, it was loud and boisterous and happy to see so many delighted faces.
All the hard work had finally paid off. But then disaster struck, too much excitement had made Everton slip back into the coma. There was a lot of concern and much was done to salvage the operation. It was not to be and we’d have to wait another three years to carry out the ‘Wembley Procedure’ once more.
On this occasion it failed at the first attempt, this was due to some unaccounted red blood cells. Not long after and Dr Moyes was drafted to replace Sir Ferguson in his role at nearby Manchester. The ‘caring impresario’ decided he had to do something.
Many had already questioned his role and believe that the only reason for the recent near successes was down to Dr Moyes and his shrewd Scottish approach.
Foreign help was acquired in another young man, a Spaniard known as Professor Martinez.
His first action was to re-open the ‘School Of Science’. Here he could try out new ideas and remedies. He assembled a young core of gifted men to galvanise the existing and more experienced members of his team. At this point the prized assets were again long gone or about to be moved on.
No monetary funding was seen from these sales. This could have been a reason for Dr Moyes to try his hand elsewhere. How could he work when his tools and equipment were constantly being removed from his table?
Professor Martinez gave a buzz to all concerned parties. Was this to be another false dawn or the actual awakening of one of the nation’s greatest and honoured treasures?
The latter seemed more likely but once again it was all for nothing. The sleep was too great, Everton was too comfortable and the ‘caring impresario’ was more than happy to keep propping up the pillow and telling people he was doing all he could.
The ‘caring impresario’ and his cronies are currently being asked some serious questions about what can be done with our facilities, how are they finding investment (without selling assets) and more importantly how much funding will Professor Martinez have at his disposal?
We are now at a period where, if success isn’t achieved and Everton is not to be pulled back from the brink then people will stop caring and people will cease to help where they can.
Too many Evertonians have watched on helplessly whilst the ‘caring Impresario???’ has done nothing but the basics (badly) and has watched on without a care.
The next twelve months are the most important in Everton’s history. The coma must end or we need to have closure.